


Fated

by haelpack



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: "Platonic" Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Squip, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Expensive Headphones (Friendship), Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Jealousy, M/M, Oblivious!Jeremy, POV Alternating, Pining, Richjake (Background), Some Stagedorks, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-05 06:25:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14038146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haelpack/pseuds/haelpack
Summary: Everyone has a soulmate, and when the youngest of the pair turns sixteen, both get their soulmarks. Jeremy wakes up with a brand new soulmark on his sixteenth birthday, ecstatic and thrilled. Michael wakes up on Jeremy's sixteenth birthday with the same soulmark.The only problem? Jeremy insists that he's straight.





	1. Michael

Usually, Michael and Jeremy switched off between their houses each weekend. One week, they’d be at Michael’s, and then the next they’d be at Jeremy’s. They’d started doing this back in elementary school when weekly sleepovers started becoming a thing, mostly because their parents didn’t want to be stuck with them weekend after weekend. The tradition had stuck throughout the years, only breaking during very special circumstances.

Jeremy’s sixteenth birthday was a _very_ special circumstance. It was the first birthday of Jeremy’s since his mom had left, so it had been an easy decision to switch the sleepover schedule and have Michael stay at the Heeres’ a second weekend in a row. Plus, it was Jeremy’s sixteenth birthday, which meant he could be getting his soulmark.

Michael sat in his final class of the day, Biology, and stared idly down at his blank wrist. You see, everyone in the world had a soulmate. That much was given. Two people (sometimes more, but that was quite rare) would share identical soulmarks on the wrist of their non-dominant hand, showing the world that they were destined to be together. Soulmarks didn’t start showing up until both soulmates were sixteen, though. Michael still didn’t have a soulmark and he had been sixteen for four months now.

Michael knew who he wished his soulmate was, but he knew better than to get his hopes up. Still, either way tomorrow was about to be either the best day of Michael’s life or the absolute worst. It was enough to give him a huge bout of anxiety. Luckily, his bio teacher was really cool and didn’t mind if students listened to music while doing work. He’d had his headphones on, playing music from the late 80’s, for almost the entire class. It helped ground him and stave off any panic attacks.

It also meant that he didn’t hear the bell when it went off. He was so absorbed in his work (he really didn’t want homework this weekend; he had a feeling there was no way it would get done) that he didn’t even notice his classmates packing up and leaving for the day.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He whirled around to see his teacher, Mr. Upton, standing behind him. He pulled his headphones down around his neck, noticing the empty classroom.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Mr. Upton said. “I just wanted to make sure you knew school was over. The bell rang five minutes ago.”

“Oh, right. Sorry,” Michael mumbled, hurriedly shoving his things into his backpack. “Sorry to keep you,” he said, waving as he walked out the door. He replaced his headphones back on his ears, digging in his hoodie pocket to find his phone and restart the song. He mouthed along to the words as he made his way through the crowd of people to his locker.

He hated the crowds at school. They made his skin crawl and his anxiety spike. The only things that helped him get through it were his music and knowing Jeremy was waiting at his locker, just like every day.

Michael and Jeremy met in preschool when they were four years old and they’ve been inseparable ever since. Stacy, one of Michael’s moms, liked to joke that the only time they weren’t joined at the hip was on the bus rides to and from school. Well, now that Michael had his license and had inherited his grandfather’s PT Cruiser, they were inseparable then, as well.

Jeremy was waiting at Michael’s locker, his back pressed against the lockers next to it. Michael did his best not to blush and to not think of Jeremy as the light at the end of the tunnel. So of course, he failed in both regards.

“Hey, man,” Michael called when Jeremy spotted him. He turned the music down so he could hear Jeremy, but kept the headphones on for comfort. Jeremy fiddled with the straps of his backpack, which was stilled adorned with Rich’s handwriting, as Michael opened his locker and shoved everything inside.

“What took you so long?” Jeremy asked, leaning his head back against the locker. They were close in height (Michael was half an inch taller and he loved to lord that over Jeremy), which meant that Jeremy’s face was very close to Michael’s.

Michael did his best to not get flustered at that, which means he was totally flustered at that. He was good at hiding it, though. (He’d had a lot of practice by now.)

“I didn’t hear the bell,” he replied easily. He emptied his backpack out and slung it back over his shoulder. He could do his math homework during lunch on Monday. There was no way, between Jeremy’s birthday and finding out once and for all if Jeremy could be Michael’s soulmate, that any homework was getting done this weekend. “You ready to go?”

Jeremy nodded and they started walking side-by-side. They purposefully walked so their backpacks read “RIENDS BOYF”. Jeremy always complained when he heard people giggling over their backpacks reading “BOYF RIENDS” behind them. Michael often wondered why Jeremy didn’t just go get a new one if it bothered him so much. He’d never asked, though, for fear that Jeremy would actually do it.

They talked about their weekend as they made their way out to Michael’s car. Jeremy’s birthday was on a Saturday this year (lucky— Michael’s had been on a Tuesday, which was just lame), and this was the first year Jeremy had more people to invite over than just Michael. Through Jeremy’s involvement in the school’s drama program, he’d made friends with some surprising people, namely all the popular kids in school. Though Michael wasn’t one for theatre, Jeremy had sort of dragged him into the friend group, refusing to leave him behind. So now, instead of just their usual two-day-sleepover on birthday weekends, all of their friends were going to come over and hang out during the day on Saturday. Michael could tell Jeremy was excited about it.

And if Michael was a little bitter about losing his almost 48 hours of just Michael-and-Jeremy-time, well, he wouldn’t say anything about it. Besides, it’ll probably be nice to have an actual birthday party with more people than just one friend and your parents.

“I was trying to pick some movies that we might watch tomorrow,” Jeremy was saying as he buckled his seatbelt, “but I don’t think I can find one that everyone will like.”

“It’s your birthday, just pick whatever you wanna watch,” Michael responded. He plugged his phone into the aux cord, but kept the volume low so he could hear Jeremy over the music.

Jeremy gave him a Look. “I still want everyone else to have a good time, too, Micah.”

Ah, that nickname. Michael felt his cheeks color at the sound of it, though he was finally past the stage where he freaked out every time he heard it. Still, he stuttered a moment before responding. He backed out of his parking spot.

“Then just put on a Disney movie or something. Everyone loves Disney movies.”

“I don’t know if Rich and Jake would want to watch The Little Mermaid,” Jeremy replied dryly. 

“Then they’re lame. The Little Mermaid is the best Disney princess movie,” Michael said. He kept one hand on the wheel and fiddled with his headphones cord with the other.

“Um, excuse you, Tangled is the best Disney princess movie,” Jeremy said, sounding very matter-of-fact. Michael snorted.

“Don’t get me started on that, Jer. I’ll fight you.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Michael reached over and pinched Jeremy on the arm, earning a loud, indignant squeak from his best friend. Jeremy slapped his hand away. “That’s no fair! I can’t fight back while you’re driving.”

“Should have thought about that sooner, then,” Michael said, grinning as he pinched Jeremy again. Jeremy yelped.

“Stop! It’s practically my birthday, so you have to be nice to me!”

Michael pretended to think about it. “That rule doesn’t go into effect until midnight tonight, so I can be mean as much as I want.” He pretended to try to pinch Jeremy again, just to see him squirm. It was so cute.

Ahem. Not that Michael thought Jeremy was cute or anything. Because he didn’t. He totally was _not_ utterly in love with his best friend of twelve years. That would just be absurd. And sad. And Michael was anything but absurd and sad. (Yeah, right.)

The Heere house had always been too big for its occupants. It was two stories with four bedrooms and one and a half bathrooms. Jeremy’s parents had bought it shortly after they’d gotten married, having planned to have at least three children. Michael never said anything, but he had a theory that the size of the house and the number of rooms unable to be filled was one of the reasons Mrs. Heere left. That, and she was a huge bitch (Michael kept that opinion to himself as well).

Mr. Heere wasn’t home yet, so Michael and Jeremy went straight up to his bedroom.

“So, do you want your present now, or should I torture you and make you wait until tomorrow?” Michael asked lightly as he tossed his backpack onto Jeremy’s desk chair.

“What? You have to give it to me now, obviously!”

“It’s not even your birthday yet,” Michael teased, fishing the wrapped present out from the bottom of his backpack.

“Well, you’re the one who brought it up,” Jeremy whined. “Come on, Micah, please?” The combination of Jeremy’s puppy dog eyes and his use of Michael’s nickname would have for sure convinced him to give Jeremy the present early if he hadn’t already planned to.

Wordlessly, Michael held up the wrapped present and waved it tauntingly in Jeremy’s face. It was obviously a video game (well, it could have been a movie, but knowing the two of them— it was obviously a video game). Jeremy excitedly snatched it from the air, ripping the plain blue wrapping paper quickly.

His jaw dropped when he flipped the box over and saw what game it was.

“Apocalypse of the Damned 2: The End of the World?” He read disbelievingly. “Didn’t this get pulled from the shelves, like, two weeks after it was released?” Michael nodded, feeling very proud. Jeremy’s eyes were shining, for Christ’s sake!

“Yep, apparently parents complained because it’s so much more graphic than the first one. It’s super hard to find— most of them were destroyed.” Jeremy looked at him in awe, pure excitement rolling off of him in waves.

“Wait,” he said after a moment, “this must have cost you a fortune. You know I don’t—”

“Before you said anything,” Michael interrupted, holding a hand up, “it cost me nothing but shipping costs. I did a few trades in order to get it. Don’t worry about it! I want to play it, too,” he added when Jeremy looked like he was going to argue some more.

Jeremy didn’t need to know that he’d given up three of his rarest, first edition vinyls in order to get the collector online to send it to him. Honestly, he was just relieved the guy hadn’t pulled a fast one on him.

Michael was caught off-guard when Jeremy pulled him into a tight hug.

“Thank you so much,” Jeremy said, his voice muffled by Michael’s hoodie. Michael clung to him just as tight, burying his head in the crook of Jeremy’s neck.

Far too soon, Jeremy pulled back. “You wanna play?”

“Hell fuckin’ yeah, I do!”

—

“I’m kinda nervous,” Jeremy admitted. He was rubbing his left wrist, as if he could just make his soulmark appear. “What if it’s there? In the morning?”

“Then that’s great, man!” Michael nudged Jeremy a little. “You’ll one step closer to finding your soulmate. Plus, you’ll know they’re older than you.” He winked suggestively and Jeremy shoved him in response.

The two of them were in Jeremy’s full size bed, about to go to sleep. Normally, they’d stay up until the crack of dawn before passing out on a Friday night, but Jeremy didn’t want to be awake when midnight struck. He didn’t want to know until the morning if he got his soulmark or not.

Michael wanted to be asleep, too. No matter what happened, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he had his answer beforehand.

Jeremy still looked nervous, laying down on the bed. Michael followed suit and nudged him lightly.

“Don’t worry,” he said softly. “Things aren’t going to just magically change in the morning. You get the mark or you don’t.”

“I’ll still have to find her if I get it.” Michael elected to ignore the “her” and nodded.

“Exactly. It’ll just be the start of your search, or else it’ll be a normal birthday.”

“Was it disappointing when you didn’t get yours?” Jeremy asked. He turned the desk lamp off, but still turned to try to see Michael in the dark. Michael shrugged.

“Not really. I mean, now when it comes it’ll be a surprise, you know?” Jeremy was quiet after that, but scooted a little closer to Michael. Michael did his best to quiet his beating heart.

“Goodnight, Micah.”

“‘Night, Jer.”

Michael didn’t sleep for shit that night, though Jeremy slept like a rock. It was all Michael could do not to use his phone to check their wrists when he woke up and saw it was one in the morning. But after that, he couldn’t fall back asleep.

What if everything was different in the morning? What if it wasn’t? Michael knew the odds of Jeremy being his soulmate were slim to none, but he didn’t know what he’d do if it turned out that they weren’t. How could he act normally— act as if his heart hadn’t just been ripped out of his chest, torn to shreds, and stomped on by steel boots? He’d have to find a way.

He slept fitfully until he finally heard Jeremy wake up next to him, hours later. Michael kept his eyes closed, only half awake.

“Oh my god.” Jeremy blindly smacked Michael in the face, trying to wake him up.

“Wha— what the— Jer—” Michael mumbled groggily, opening his eyes. God, he felt like shit. He’d barely slept at all. Jeremy’s blurry face appeared over his, and even without his glasses, Michael could tell he was excited.

Michael sat up, grabbing his glasses from the windowsill and pushing them into place. “You got it?”

Jeremy shoved his wrist in Michael’s face in response. “I can’t believe it! Oh my god I was so worried and now it’s like this giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders and…” Jeremy chattered on, somehow super awake and chipper despite the early hour.

Michael grabbed onto Jeremy’s wrist and held it back a little so he could get a proper look at the soulmark. It was all black, outlining the shape of geometric heart. It was kind of pretty, Michael had to admit. It almost looked like the hearts from Legend of Zelda, now that he thought of it.

“I’m happy for you, Jer,” he said, his voice still thick with sleep. He yawned, stretching. Maybe he could go back to sleep, though it felt like there was something he was forgetting…

“Michael.”

“Huh.” Michael buried his face back into his pillow, not even bothering to take off his glasses. He was so, _so_ tired.

“Michael!”

“What?” Michael whined. “Happy birthday, Jeremy, but let me sleep.”

“Michael, your wrist!” Michael’s eyes snapped open at that. Like lightning, he was sitting up and staring at his left wrist. A small outline of a geometric heart stared back at him.

Michael felt his stomach drop, finally coming to his senses. He looked up at Jeremy, who looked… bewildered, to say the least. Without thinking, Michael reached out and grabbed Jeremy’s left hand, holding their soulmarks side by side.

They were identical.

Michael was ecstatic. This was everything he’d ever hoped for in his life. Jeremy fucking Heere was his soulmate! The kid he’d been in love with since he was twelve was his! Forever! He felt like he could sing, like the heavens were finally shining down on him. This was the best day of his entire life.

Then he looked up at Jeremy.

Jeremy looked devastated.


	2. Jeremy

This was not happening. This was _not_ happening! It was his sixteenth birthday and he actually got his soulmark (a Legend of Zelda heart? Nice!). But then—

Michael had the same soulmark.

Michael was his soulmate.

Michael Mell was Jeremy Heere’s soulmate.

This just didn’t make sense. Jeremy’s head swam and his hands started to shake. God, it was nine o’clock in the morning on his birthday and he was having a panic attack! It was feeling harder and harder to breathe—

“Jeremy? Hey, hey, Jer, you gotta calm down, buddy.” Michael, of course, was right there for him. He grasped Jeremy’s hands tight, giving Jeremy something solid to hold onto, and spoke soothingly to try to bring him back down to Earth. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, Jeremy. Deep breaths, okay? Breathe with me.”

Jeremy focused on matching his breathing to Michael’s, closing his eyes until he felt better. It was lucky that Michael knew how to handle Jeremy’s panic attacks, or else it could have gotten a whole lot worse than that.

He opened his eyes to be met with Michael looking at him, concerned.

“You okay?”

Jeremy nodded. His gaze dropped back down to their matching soulmarks.

How was this possible?

“I can’t believe it,” Michael murmured, his gaze following Jeremy’s. He traced his own soulmark lightly with his fingertips, as if he expected it to smudge and rub off.

“Me neither,” Jeremy mutter, trying hard to not let the anxiety bubble up again. “I really, really can’t.” Michael was smiling. How could he be smiling? Jeremy felt like— like he was going to throw up or pass out or something and Michael was _smiling_?

“I mean, I always hoped—” Michael broke off, looking back up at Jeremy cautiously. “When you say you can’t believe it, what do you mean?” Jeremy was silent. “Jeremy?”

“I— I can’t believe it,” Jeremy repeated. “I mean, I’m straight? So how can I have a guy as a soulmate, you know?” As soon as he said it, he wished he could take it back and just say nothing at all. Michael had a look of complete and utter devastation flash across his face. He caught himself and school his expression quickly, but it was enough to feel like a stab in the heart to Jeremy. He hated knowing that he hurt Michael. Michael was the best person Jeremy knew— he never wanted Michael to be sad.

“That’s— that’s—” Michel couldn’t seem to find the words he wanted to say. “A-are you sure about that? I mean, the marks are right there—” Jeremy bristled, pulling his arm back and holding it against his chest so the mark wasn’t visible.

“I’m sure of my sexuality,” he said firmly. “I’m straight. I like girls, Michael.” Even though Michael hid it better this time, Jeremy knew he was hurting him again. Inwardly cursing, he went on, “I don’t know how this happened or why. I’m sorry. You deserve a soulmate that can actually be what you need.”

Michael was quiet. “You do, too,” he said finally.

The air around them was thick and uncomfortable. Jeremy felt like shit. This was not how today was supposed to go.

After a long moment, Michael tried to wipe his eyes inconspicuously. “So, uh, birthday pancakes? I can make you some, if you want.” Jeremy felt a stab of pain, though it was for a different reason this time. His mom had always made him birthday pancakes (with chocolate chips and strawberries), and this was the first year that she wasn’t there to make them herself.

“That sounds great,” Jeremy managed. He looked at his phone. “I think Christine said everyone was gonna get here around noon.”

“Great,” Michael said, though it sounded anything but.

—

Jeremy’s dad hadn’t been able to get off work for Jeremy’s birthday. He’d taken too much time off after Mom left, so now he had to go in on Saturdays for the foreseeable future and he hadn’t been able to get around it for today. Jeremy had been upset initially, but now he was grateful for it. The first thing his dad was gonna do was ask if he’d gotten his soulmark.

He really didn’t want to have that conversation right now. Not while his head was still spinning and he was trying to figure out how he could be straight and have a guy for a soulmate. He was never going to fall in love with Michael. He wasn’t.

The pancakes were good, though. Probably better than Mom’s ever were, but Jeremy didn’t know how to tell Michael that without bringing up Mom and he didn’t want to bring up Mom and make her absence even more noticeable, so he just kept his mouth shut.

Michael, though, was an absolute saint. He’d seemingly gone through a transformation while making the pancakes and was now acting completely normal. It was like this morning had never even happened. (Jeremy knew that Michael wished it hadn’t.)

He was so grateful for the distraction when their friends showed up shortly after noon. They arrived in two cars— Jake, Rich, and Jenna in Jake’s truck and Chloe, Brooke, and Christine in Chloe’s BMW. Both cars made Michael’s dingy PT Cruiser look shitty in comparison, though Jeremy always preferred Michael’s car to the others. There was something homey about it.

Christine was the first to hug Jeremy, which flustered him greatly. His crush on her had grown even more after they’d become friends, though he’d never had the courage to ask her out. Now, with the soulmark complication, he didn’t know if he’d ever get the chance.

“Happy birthday, Jeremy!” She cried, jumping after she hugged him. 

“Thanks,” he said sheepishly as Brooke pulled him into a hug, as well.

The hugs (and bro-hugs, in Rich and Jake’s case) went around, as well as the happy birthdays. Things felt good. They felt normal. It was awesome, actually, to have more than one person over to celebrate Jeremy’s birthday, and not just because that meant he got more presents.

Michael ordered the pizza for the group, as Jeremy got too nervous to speak on the phone to anyone but Michael or his dad, and they all convened in the living room. Jeremy had picked out four movies for them to choose from: Lilo and Stitch, Tangled, Mulan, and The Lion King.

“Mulan, come on, no question about it,” Rich exclaimed. “Let’s see some Huns invading China!”

“But Tangled,” Christine said. “We should watch that one.”

“We can watch Tangled first,” Jeremy suggested quickly, “and maybe Mulan after?” Rich shrugged in agreement. Michael scoffed quietly, but Jeremy ignored it. He desperately wanted today to be a good day, no matter how it had started.

He selected the movie on Netflix and let it start, sitting on the couch in between Michael and Christine (which sometimes felt like the story of his life, to be honest). Christine, Brooke, and even Rich were having a lot of fun singing along wildly to the songs, much to the amusement of everyone else.

Just as the first song ended, there was a knock at the door. Jeremy got up to answer it, using the money Dad had left to pay for the pizzas. Michael was right behind him to help carry them into the kitchen.

Rich and Jake were in the kitchen in a heartbeat, ready to get first dibs on the food. Rich was still singing When Will My Life Begin under his breath, which made Jake and Michael laugh a little.

“It’s a good song,” Rich defended. Jake held up his hands in mock surrender.

“Hey, I never said it wasn’t.”

Jeremy chewed on a slice of pizza, leaning against the counter so he could still see the movie.

“Oh, hey,” Jake said suddenly, his mouth full of pizza. He swallowed and continued, “I was meaning to ask. You get your mark today?”

Jeremy tried to hide his grimace. Michael looked at his feet.

“What’s that all about?” Rich asked slowly, pointing to the two of them. At the same time, they pulled up their sleeves and showed Rich and Jake their matching marks. “Hey, that’s awesome! You guys are already best friends, why not go that extra step, right?”

“It’s not so simple,” Jeremy said awkwardly. “I’m straight. And I just— don’t get how this happened?”

Jake tilted his head a little, thinking. “I mean, you guys could just be platonic soulmates. Like us.”

“Platonic soulmates?” Jeremy responded. “Is that a thing?”

“Wait, you two are soulmates?” Michael asked. He and Rich shared a look that Jeremy couldn’t decipher.

“Yeah, we are. Happened on Rich’s birthday a few months ago,” Jake said, showing off his mark. It was about the same size as Jeremy’s, but it was a leafless tree. It was pretty. “We never said anything because platonic soulmates aren’t super common.”

“I’ve never even heard of them,” Michael said dryly. Jeremy couldn’t tell if he was trying to sound sarcastic or if he just wanted the conversation to end.

“I mean, that makes so much more sense, though, doesn’t it?” Jeremy looked to Michael, kind of excited. Platonic soulmates. “We’re made for each other, just not in a romantic way. I mean, isn’t that kind of what best friends already are? We just have the universe agreeing with us.” He felt light, giddy. As if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders and the world made sense again. Jeremy had always known he and Michael were _it_. They’d been inseparable since childhood, two peas in a pod (as Michael’s mom, Alina, liked to say). And now they had an actual reason why. They were destined to be together, even if it wasn’t in a traditional sense.

“Yeah,” Michael said softly, “it makes so much sense.” Jeremy didn’t notice how hollow he sounded. 

“We should get back to the movie,” Jeremy said, “and tell the girls they can get food if they want it.” Jake followed him out into the living room. Jeremy thought he heard Rich speaking lowly to Michael, but he was distracted by Mother Knows Best beginning on the screen. He and Jake returned to their seats and Jeremy waited until after the song to tell the girls to go get food. They all went into the kitchen right as Rich and Michael walked out.

Jeremy settled back to watch the rest of the movie, absentmindedly rubbing his soulmark with his thumb. He was happy, just as happy as he’d been when he’d first woken up and seen the mark on his wrist. He had a soulmate. And better yet, his soulmate was his best friend, and their friendship didn’t have to change at all. It was kind of perfect, actually.

Michael sat beside him, watching the movie silently. He didn’t even laugh when Rapunzel hit Flynn with the frying pan, which was just unlike him. Michael always laughed at slapstick comedy.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked Michael lowly, nudging him lightly in the side. Michael flashed him a smile, nodding.

“I just didn’t sleep well last night,” he replied. “You snored. All night long.”

Jeremy pretended to be offended. “I do not snore!”

“Well, then the mysterious snoring coming from your direction kept me up all night,” Michael replied teasingly. “It was loud.”

“I do not snore!” Jeremy repeated, pinching Michael in the side like he’d done in the car yesterday. Michael giggled and batted his hand away.

“Am I allowed to yell at you for not paying attention even though it’s your birthday?” Chloe asked, playing with one of her earrings and pretending the glare at the two of them.

“Nope, he’s the birthday boy and you have to be nice to him,” Michael replied swiftly.

“That’s the rule,” Jeremy added. “Sorry.” Chloe rolled her eyes, but she didn’t look annoyed. Jeremy knew that she’d come to find the two of them charming rather than annoying, like she used to.

Sometimes, it still blew Jeremy’s mind that he had all these friends now. For so long, it was just him and Michael, but now he had _friends_. And not only that, but he had _popular_ friends. Hell, Rich used to bully them and now (after a lot of apologies and Rich making it up to Michael and Jeremy) they were super close friends. It was just crazy. 

And then there was Christine. Jeremy’s dream girl and now friend— maybe he’d finally work up the courage to ask her out. His soulmate bond was platonic, so that meant that it would be okay to date other people. And though Christine had turned sixteen a month ago, she still had no mark of her own. It was the perfect time.

Jeremy ignored the way Michael’s thigh pressed into his own, electing instead to focus on how close he was sitting to Christine. This was turning out to be a pretty great birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is gonna be a Journey, guys


	3. Michael (in the bathroom)

The entire weekend was pure and utter torture. Michael was a mess. He felt like he was on the verge of tears the entire time, and yet there was nothing he could do about it. He wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. He wanted to get so high he forgot his own name. There was even a part of him that wanted to rip the stupid soulmark right off his wrist and burn it.

Instead, he kept the smile on his face. This was Jeremy’s birthday and Michael wasn’t going to ruin it for him. No matter how much Michael was hurting, Jeremy’s happiness was more important. So he kept smiling and teasing. He made sure things stayed normal, if only for Jeremy’s own sanity.

And then, of _course_ , because the universe just loves to ruin Michael’s life, Jake had to come in with that “platonic soulmate” bullshit. Michael had long since given up his resentment towards Jake for having allowed his friends to bully others for years, but he felt it flare up right then. Michael was pretty sure with those two words, Jake had ruined any and all chance Michael had of truly being with Jeremy.

The thought alone made him want to lock himself in a bathroom and just cry.

“Mike.” Rich’s voice was softer than Michael had ever heard, stopping him from following Jeremy back into the living room. Michael gritted his teeth, trying to choke back the tears. He hated with people called him Mike, but he didn’t have the energy or the strength to say something to Rich right then. 

“What?” Michael’s voice was hoarse. He turned to glare at Rich— this was his fault too, for letting Jake think platonic soulmates were a thing, for not saying anything when Jeremy _jumped_ at the chance to basically denounce the soul bond, for—

Rich looked just as heartbroken as Michael felt. Michael felt all the anger seep from him as Rich reached out and grabbed his wrist, squeezing tight. “Look, dude, I know this sucks. I’m sorry—”

Michael shook his head, sighing. It felt like his energy was being sucked away. “Don’t be.” Gently, he slid his wrist from Rich’s grasp and walked into the living room, reclaiming his spot next to Jeremy. Rich followed him out a moment later, and Michael noticed his eyes looked slightly red.

The movie was awful to watch. Michael couldn’t find any energy to actually concentrate on it at all, so he was just sort of staring into space the whole time. That didn’t stop him from noticing every little thing Jeremy did (though, really, was that anything new?). He felt like he’d been stabbed in the heart when Jeremy tried (not-so-discreetly) to slip his arm around Christine’s shoulder.

The afternoon seemed to stretch into infinity. More than once, his friends tried to pull him into whatever sing-along or conversation was taking place amongst the group, but all he could do was fake a smile and say he was tired.

He _was_ tired. Heartbreak was exhausting. Faking happiness was exhausting. Existing was exhausting.

Finally, it was time for everyone else to leave. Michael would still have to pretend to be okay, but at least the audience would be smaller. Jeremy wasn’t so hard to distract when he needed to, anyway. 

As everyone was pulling on their coats and chatting amongst themselves, Michael felt a light tap on his arm. He did his best to keep from groaning and turned, only to see Christine looking up at him. She looked worried. His stomach dropped.

“What’s up?” He asked lightly. She gestured towards the hall with her head, and Michael had no choice but to follow her down the hallway, away from the group. To be alone with his soulmate’s crush— every guy’s dream.

Once they’d walked far enough, Christine turned around to face him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Michael replied automatically. He stuffed his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “Why would something be wrong?” He hoped that didn’t sound nearly as bitter as he felt. Christine placed a hand on his elbow, trying to be comforting. In any other situation, it would have been. Christine was a very comforting person.

“Michael, you’ve been acting weird all day,” she said, not unkindly. “I’m worried about you. Are you okay?” Michael ran his hand through his hair and nodded.

“Yeah. I swear I am,” he added when she didn’t look convinced. “It’s just been a weird day, is all.”

There was some small, cruel part of him that wanted to blame her for all of this. For being so perfect that Jeremy just had to fall in love with her. For being so nice that Jeremy thought he might have a shot. For being literally everything Michael could never be.

But he couldn’t. No matter what, Michael could not find it in himself to hate Christine Canigula, no matter how much simpler the anger inside him would become if he did. It would be so much easier to process, and maybe even move on from, if he could blame her. But he just couldn’t do it. Especially not when she was taking the time to check on him even though they hardly actually spoke. She was a better friend than Michael deserved.

Christine pursed her lips, but nodded. “Okay. But if you ever need someone to talk to, know that I’m there, okay? I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

Michael’s lips quirked a little. “I’m sure you are.” She smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“I’m just a text away,” she reminded him, before heading down the hall. She hugged Jeremy goodbye, wishing him a happy birthday once more, and left. She was the last one to go, so Jeremy shut the front door behind her. He looked back at Michael, gaping a little.

“What, uh, what you were guys talking about?” It was painful how blasé Jeremy was trying to sound. Michael shrugged.

“Nothing, really.” Jeremy looked a little disappointed.

“She wasn’t… asking you about me?” He asked, still sounding hopeful. Michael felt another pang in his heart and tried to think of something to say.

“Sorry, dude, but no.” Jeremy slumped his shoulders and Michael just couldn’t let him look so down. It was practically illegal. “But, hey, she totally let you put your arm around her! That’s a step in the right direction, right?”

Jeremy beamed at that nodding. “You’re right. It was kinda awesome.” He looked lost in some happy thoughts for a moment before going on, “You wanna go play more of AOTD 2?”

Seeing that lovesick smile on Jeremy’s face made Michael feel like he was suffocating. “Yeah, just gimme a sec. I gotta use the bathroom.” Before Jeremy could even respond, Michael was ducking into the downstairs bathroom.

Michael managed to wait just long enough to hear Jeremy go up the stairs and into his bedroom before he was fully breaking down.

—

Michael knew he didn’t have much time before Jeremy would come and see what was taking him so long. He splashed some water on his face, hoping it would take care of the redness that ringed his eyes and painted his cheeks. His glasses sat on the edge of the bathtub, where he’d thrown them once the tears had started flowing.

Why wasn’t he good enough for Jeremy? He always done everything he could to be the best friend Jeremy could ever ask for, even way before he’d fallen for him. He’d always made sure Jeremy knew that he had someone on his side, no matter what. Just— why wasn’t that enough? Why wasn’t Michael enough?

He gripped the edges of the sink, more tears falling as sobs wracked his body.

The day Michael realized he was in love with his best friend had been a normal one, for the most part. They were in the seventh grade, and middle school had been rough for the both of them. They’d had other friends, like Dustin Kropp, in elementary school, but by midway through seventh grade it was just Michael and Jeremy.

They had a specific corner in the cafeteria where they always ate lunch. Michael was always just grateful that they were in the same lunch hour, though he found that he was happy more for Jeremy than himself. Michael never minded sitting alone if he had to, but Jeremy always hated it.

It was pizza day and Michael was busy picking the pepperonis off his pizza to eat first, like he always did. He’d already picked all of the pepperonis off of Jeremy’s slices, so he had a nice little pile of pepperoni ready to be eaten. This was the way pizza day usually went.

Jeremy was ranting, like he often did. He’d failed his math test, so obviously it was the teacher’s fault. Michael decidedly didn’t comment on how they’d stayed up until two the night before, sending instant messages back and forth while playing Pokémon. It wasn’t as much fun as actually playing together, but it was as close as they could get when they were in their own homes.

Jeremy’s test, with a big fat E scrawled in red at the top, was laying on the table in front of them both. 

“It’s just not fair!” Jeremy said, his voice sounding thicker. “Math is stupid anyway.”

“It is,” Michael agreed easily, chewing on a pepperoni. Michael was always good at math, though, so he’d never had this kind of problem before. Still, that didn’t mean he liked math. Not at all.

Jeremy sniffled, which immediately sent Michael into a panic. He hated it when Jeremy cried. Jeremy was his best friend, he wasn’t supposed to cry!

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay! It’s just one test, anyway, and I can help you study for the next one,” Michael said quickly, barely registering anything he was saying. He just wanted the tears to go away and for Jeremy to smile.

“My mom has to sign it, though,” Jeremy said thickly, a tear falling onto the paper.

“I can fake her signature,” Michael said immediately. He’d never actually done it before, but it couldn’t be too hard, right? “So don’t freak out. She’ll never have to know, okay?”

Jeremy sniffled again. “Okay.” He still looked like he was going to cry, which wasn’t good enough for Michael. Michael looked around before picking up the chocolate chip cookie he’d bought in the lunch line and holding it out to Jeremy.

“You want my cookie?” He offered, waving it a little. Jeremy smiled. They’d run out of cookies before Jeremy had gotten through the line, so he hadn’t gotten one today. He beamed to himself, breaking the cookie into small pieces as he ate it.

That was the moment. A still-teary Jeremy happily munching on a cookie, a crisis diverted by Michael alone. That was the moment Michael’s stomach had dropped and he realized he had it bad for his best (and only) friend. That was the moment Michael was done for.

—

Michael’s sobs came to a painful halt as he heard a knock on the bathroom door.

“Micah?” Jeremy’s voice sounded muffled through the wood of the door, but Michael could still hear the concern. “Are you crying?”

Michael turned on the faucet again, splashing cool water on his face. “No,” he said. “I was just… coughing.” It was a lame lie, he knew.

“You’ve been in there a while,” Jeremy said. “Everything alright?”

Other than the fact that this was the single worst day of Michael’s life? Sure, everything was fine!

“My stomach was just acting up,” Michael said. It almost wasn’t a lie— his breakdown had led to a pretty painful stomachache. “I’ll be out in a minute, I promise.”

“Do you need medicine or something? I think we have Tylenol.” Jeremy still sounded so concerned. It made Michael’s heart squeeze.

“Tylenol will be good,” he said. He turned the water off and looked at his reflection. He could tell that he’d been crying, but hopefully Jeremy wouldn’t be able to. It was the best he could do right then, so he sighed and did his best to not look so thoroughly broken.

He left the bathroom, shutting the light off behind him. He followed Jeremy up the steps, accepted the Tylenol from him, and then they took their places on the beanbags to play Apocalypse of the Damned 2.

Nothing was out of the ordinary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cried while writing this. oops


	4. Jeremy

Michael went home after their birthday-weekend earlier than usual on Sunday. Jeremy was slightly worried, but Michael just assured him that his stomach was acting up. Jeremy accepted the excuse, but there was some part of him that knew a stomachache was too easy an explanation.

Jeremy laid in his bed, though it was too early for him to actually be able to fall asleep. He pulled up the long sleeve of his shirt and stared at his soulmark. It was crazy that something so small had such a big effect on his life. Gingerly, he dragged a finger over it. He shuddered at the feeling. (In the back of his mind, he wondered if Michael could feel that, too.)

Even though he’d practically had a breakdown when he’d realized Michael was his soulmate, it made sense. It felt right to Jeremy that Michael was his other half— the person who was made exactly for him. Still, it seemed like it hadn’t worked out quite perfectly.

Jeremy wasn’t an idiot. He knew that Michael was disappointed that they were soulmates. If Jeremy was honest with himself, he kind of was, too. Not that he didn’t think he and Michael were perfect for each other— they were! But it’s kind of disappointing to find out that you’re never going to actually fall in love with your soulmate. It was almost enough for Jeremy to wish he was gay, or even bi. It would be so easy to be in love with Michael.

Jeremy sighed, dropping his arm to his side. It was comforting, though, to know that Michael wasn’t going anywhere. He was always too good for Jeremy, yet somehow the universe decided they were meant to be by each others’ sides and best friends forever. The thought made a small smile creep onto Jeremy’s face.

Jeremy laid their for a while, and his mind wandered. As they tended to, his thoughts landed on Christine. Perfect Christine, who was so pretty and sweet and passionate. Christine, who Jeremy kind of wished was his soulmate. Christine—

Jeremy wished Michael was still over so they could talk in person, but a phone call would have to do. He grabbed his phone and called Michael, an action that felt practically second-nature after all these years.

“Miss me already?” Was Michael’s greeting. Jeremy snorted and rolled onto his side.

“Maybe.” he chewed on his lip, suddenly second-guessing himself. They were platonic soulmates, so it wasn’t weird to talk about crushes or anything, right? “I think I wanna ask Christine out. Tomorrow.”

Michael didn’t say anything for a long moment.

“O-oh,” he finally said, stuttering just a little. Jeremy frowned. Michael only ever stuttered when he was upset.

“Unless you think that’s a bad idea?”

“It’s— it’s not a bad idea,” Michael said. Did his voice sound weird? Jeremy couldn’t tell if his phone was just acting up or not. “But maybe not tomorrow? You need to, like, work up to it, right?”

“We’ve been friends for months, though,” Jeremy pointed out. “You don’t think that’s been working up to it enough?”

Michael exhaled sharply, like he couldn’t figure out what the right thing to say was.

“You don’t think she’ll say yes,” Jeremy realized, feeling his stomach twist painfully. Of course, why would someone as amazing and perfect as Christine ever want to date a loser like Jeremy? He was so stupid to even think—

“That’s not what I mean, Jer!” Michael said quickly. “I know where your mind’s going, and you need to stop it. Christine would be— she’d be lucky to date you. She just may not realize your interested, you know. A-and she may not have tried to think of you as more of a friend.”

“So you think she likes me but she doesn’t know it?” Jeremy asked, furrowing his eyebrows. This all sounded terribly confusing.

“Kind of. Maybe,” Michael said. “Just— you’d probably be better off easing your way into it. Flirt with her or something. Give her a chance to see you as boyfriend material.”

“That— that’s actually good advice,” Jeremy said, surprised.

“I don’t know whether to feel offended or complimented,” Michael replied dryly. 

“I dunno. You’ve never dated anyone before.”

“Yeah, well, I guess I’ve just never been interested in anyone…” It felt like Michael was about to say more but then changed his mind. Jeremy wanted to ask him about it. He hated thinking that Michael didn’t want to tell him something.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Jeremy asked seriously. He sat up in his bed, cradling the phone to his ear.

“Of course,” Michael replied swiftly. “Best friends, right?”

“Forever,” Jeremy said wryly, looking at his soulmark. He had a feeling that Michael was doing the same thing.

—

Jeremy was a disaster when it came to flirting. He made a total fool of himself in front of Christine during third period, when he tried to wink but ending up just blinking so much that Christine asked if he had something in his eye.

“Just your beauty,” he’d said, trying his best to sound suave. Personally, he thought he sounded like an idiot.

“What?” Christine asked, looking confused.

“I— uh— never mind,” Jeremy said hastily, turning back to the worksheet the teacher had passed out. “Do you understand number four?”

Luckily, Christine was an angel and ignored his idiocy to help him with the assignment. Jeremy trudged his way to lunch afterwards, wanting nothing more than to curl up into Michael’s side and go to sleep. Michael always made the best pillow.

Michael was like a beacon in the dark when Jeremy stepped into the cafeteria. Michael was already settled in at their usual table, his red hoodie making it easy for Jeremy to spot him. None of their other friends were in this lunch period, so it was just the two of them. Just like old times. Something about that thought made Jeremy feel nostalgic, but he pushed the thought aside. He dug his brown-bag lunch from his backpack (consisting of leftover pizza from this weekend and a smushed cupcake his dad had brought home on Sunday) and slid onto the bench next to Michael. Immediately, he buried himself into Michael’s side.

Michael tensed up for a moment before relaxing and wrapping an arm around Jeremy, pulling him in close. Jeremy sighed, content to just melt into Michael. Two halves of a whole— at least that finally made sense.

“Everything alright, buddy?” Michael asked, clearing his throat. Jeremy hummed, burying his head more into the crook of Michael’s neck. The hood of his sweatshirt provided nice cushion for Jeremy’s face. “Jer?”

Jeremy shifted his face just enough so he could speak. “I fucked up in English today.”

“Aw, dude, that sucks,” Michael said, hugging Jeremy tighter.

“In front of Christine, too,” Jeremy whined, pouting. Michael was quiet for a moment. Jeremy figured he was eating. (In fact, Jeremy’s stomach was growling— so he really should sit up and eat his own lunch. Still, he found that he’d rather stay cuddled up to Michael.)

“I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think it is,” Michael said finally. “You always blow shit way out of proportion.”

“Nuh-uh!” Jeremy knew he sounded like a child, but he didn’t care. “She asked if I had something in my eye and I said _‘just your beauty’_ like a _moron_ —”

Michael started to shake with laughter. Jeremy sat up, shoving him.

“O-oh my _god_ ,” Michael gasped between laughs.

“It’s not funny!” Jeremy cried, though there was a little bit of a laugh in his voice. Michael’s laugh was contagious, okay? “I made a huge fool of myself.”

Michael looked at him fondly, shaking his head. “You really are hopeless, aren’t you?” Jeremy groaned, pulling his brown sack closer to him. He took a big bite of his cold pizza.

“This is never going to work,” he said through a mouthful of food. Michael made a face, but didn’t comment on it. He just patted Jeremy on the back.

“I’ll help you out,” he said. His voice was sounding weird again, but he looked okay, so Jeremy let it slide. “Wanna come over after school?” Jeremy nodded, as if that was even a question. Of course he was going to Michael’s after school.

Michael changed the topic then, easily brightening Jeremy’s day. By the end of lunch, Jeremy had almost forgotten how awful third period had been. And when he saw Christine in fifth period, she didn’t even bring it up at all. That felt like a win (maybe she hadn’t noticed?), but it was probably just Christine being nice, as usual.

Still, his day was looking considerably brighter by the time he and Michael pulled up in front of the Mell house. They each had slurpees and bags of chips in hand, fresh from 7-11. Jeremy had chosen a Coke and Mountain Dew mixed slurpee with Cool Ranch Doritos (never mind that Michael always complained about the smell of them), and Michael had his usual cherry slurpee and a bag of honey barbecue Fritos.

Michael’s mom, Stacy, was already home. She was an artist and worked from home most days, so this wasn’t unusual. Both boys greeted her with a kiss on the cheek as they passed through the living room.

“Wait, wait, wait,” she called, standing up from her seat on the couch. She pushed her blonde hair from her eyes, looking at Jeremy expectantly.

“What?” He asked, though he had a feeling he knew what she was getting at.

“Did you get it?” Stacy asked, pulling up her own sleeve to show off the soulmark she and her wife, Alina, shared. It was a long-stemmed rose, shaded in gray. It was probably the largest soulmark Jeremy had ever seen, with the flower itself being the same size as Jeremy’s heart mark and the stem spanning far down her arm. Jeremy had always thought it was beautiful.

Jeremy glanced at Michael, who grimaced but nodded. In sync, they pulled up their sleeves and showed Stacy their matching soulmarks. Stacy’s face broke out into a huge grin.

“Oh my god, that’s amazing!” She cried, clasping her hands together. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner? Oh, I need to call Alina right now. Did you tell your dad? I know he was working this weekend, but still— this is so great. Wow, you two must be so happy.”

Jeremy couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable with her joy. It was misplaced and he had a feeling she would be incredibly disappointed when they explained that their soul bond was platonic.

“Actually, Mom,” Michael started, trying to stop Stacy before she got on the phone. He glanced at Jeremy. “Why don’t you go downstairs and set up a game, Jer? I’ll handle this.” Jeremy nodded, feeling relieved. He took Michael’s snacks from him, slipped out of the living room, and headed down the stairs to the basement (which doubled as Michael’s bedroom).

The basement was practically soundproofed, so Jeremy couldn’t hear the conversation between Michael and his mom. Honestly, he was glad for it. The idea of having to explain to _everyone_ that their soul bond was platonic kind of gave him anxiety. It was a conversation he was probably going to keep having for the rest of his life.

Jeremy set the snacks and slurpees down on the coffee table in front of the couch. He even made sure to put coasters under the cups, even though Michael never cared about that. He decided that they could play classic Mario Kart on the N64 first, so he got to work setting that system up (Michael had about four different gaming systems that they rotated through whenever they were at his house, so Jeremy was used to this by now).

Once it was set up, Jeremy went to turn the TV on, but found that the remote was nowhere to be seen. He climbed the steps to ask Michael where he’d put it, but paused when he opened the door to the basement and heard Michael speaking. He sounded really upset, which made Jeremy frown.

“I know, okay?” He was saying. “Trust me, I’m very aware.”

“Honey, you need to talk to him about this,” Stacy said in her best ‘Mom’ voice— kind and understanding, but very firm.

“I can’t,” Michael said thickly. “Jeremy— he’s happy with it being platonic. He— he _wants_ it to be platonic. He doesn’t want me, Mom.” Jeremy felt tears prick at his eyes and a knife stab at his heart.

“He’ll come around.” Michael must have shaken his head, because Stacy went on, “He will, honey. I promise.”

“He’s happy with it like this, though. So that’s how it’ll be.”

“You deserve to be happy, too,” was all Stacy seemed to be able to say.

Jeremy sniffed quietly, his head feeling like a whirlwind of emotions. As quietly as he could, he shut the door and crept back downstairs. He sat on the couch, chewing on the straw of his slurpee, and waited for Michael to come down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeremy is so oblivious................................. s i g h


	5. Michael

It took Michael a minute to collect himself after his conversation with his mom before he could brave the basement. When he got down there, he was greeted with a peculiar sight. The snacks were spread nicely across the coffee table in front of the couch. Jeremy was sitting on the couch, but the TV was still off. Michael wasn’t sure what to make of the scene.

“Jer?” Jeremy jumped at Michael’s voice, which worried him even more. “Everything alright? I thought you were setting the game up?”

“Oh, yeah, I— I couldn’t find the remote, so…” Jeremy drifted off, sounding awkward.

Michael looked around before remembering that he’d watched TV in bed the other night. The remote was still on his nightstand. He grabbed it and turned the TV on. He settled into his half of the couch, glancing over at Jeremy.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy asked suddenly, looking over at him. He had an intense look in his eye.

“Of course,” Michael lied. “Are you?”

“Yeah.” Michael wasn’t sure if that was a lie or not, but he couldn’t think of any reason for Jeremy to lie, so he accepted it.

The N64 booted up slowly due to its old age, taking its sweet time to flicker to life across the screen.

“I know you’re not happy about the whole… soulmate situation,” Jeremy went on. He looked like he wanted to be talking about anything but this, but he soldiered on. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Michael said quickly. He couldn’t have Jeremy feeling upset over everything— it would make the situation so much worse if they were both unhappy. “It’s just— you know, you have one idea in your head and then it all changes. Expectations and shit. I’ll be fine. And either way, you’re stuck with me.” He gave Jeremy a light shove, relaxing when Jeremy laughed at that. Things slowly went back to normal and they started playing their game, yelling back and forth. Michael even threw the remote at Jeremy for blue-shelling him once.

He reveled in the smile on Jeremy’s face. That was what was most important— Jeremy’s happiness. Michel could (and would) deal with whatever bullshit was coming his way with this “platonic soulmate” crap so long as it meant Jeremy was happy. He’d spend his life alone and pining for his soulmate, if that was what it meant.

Damn. That was a depressing thought. Michael tried to push it out of his head, but it was hard. He tried to ignore the ache in his chest, but that was even harder. He tried to pretend that he hadn’t almost had everything he’d ever wanted, but that was the hardest of all.

“Micah!” Jeremy complained as Michael accidentally knocked him off of Rainbow Road. Michael laughed, pretending it had been on purpose, and got his head back in the game.

They played four more courses before Jeremy set his controller down, looking expectantly at Michael.

“… What?” Michael asked, sipping on his half-melted slurpee straw. He had a feeling he knew what was coming next, but he chose to play dumb anyway. Jeremy shifted a little, looking down at his hands.

“You said you were gonna help me,” Jeremy reminded him. “With Christine.”

Right. Because Michael’s life had somehow become this twisted world where he helped his soulmate— his one true love— ask out someone else. He bit down hard on his straw to keeping from sighing loudly.

“Okay,” he said slowly. “Let’s, uh, let’s… practice flirting.” Oh, god. This already sounded like a terrible idea. Michael pushed any negative thoughts aside, focusing on Jeremy.

Jeremy made a face. “Practice flirting?” He repeated. Michael shrugged.

“Well, that’s where you messed up, right? So if you practice some, it should be easier next time you try.” Jeremy hesitated, but nodded. Michael braced himself as they got to work. He wrote out a couple of phrases that sounded like something Jeremy might say. Things he secretly wished Jeremy would say to him.

Jeremy looked so serious as he read over the list, mouthing along as he went. It was honestly so adorable. Michael let a dopey smile spread across his lips as Jeremy’s eyebrows knit together in concentration.

He glanced up at Michael apprehensively. “You’re sure this is going to work?” Michael shrugged, grin fading away.

“It’s worth a try, isn’t it?”

—

Michael sighed so loudly after Jeremy finally left. He sunk into the couch cushions and did his best not to cry again. He was already so sick of crying. But it had been harder to hear Jeremy “practice-flirt” with him for an hour and a half. He’d taken the list of phrases home, promising to try them out on Christine tomorrow.

It felt like Jeremy just left when Michael heard a knock on the basement door. His heart seized a moment until he realized it couldn’t be Jeremy, since Jeremy never knocked. He just barged right in like he owned the place (to be fair, Michael did the same thing at Jeremy’s house, but still). His moms usually knocked and then let themselves in, though, so this was still weird.

Michael stood and walked over to the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see Rich standing at the base of the stairs.

“Uh, hey,” Rich said, sounding a little awkward. It was unusual for him. “Your mom said I could just come down.”

“Hey,” Michael said slowly. He stepped back, holding the door open wider. “Come on in. Uh, what’s up?” 

Sure, Rich and Michael were pretty much friends by now, but they didn’t really hang out. Not outside of a group setting, anyway. And Michael didn’t think Rich had ever been to his house before. This was turning into a really weird day.

“You know, I haven’t really had a chance to talk to anyone about it,” Rich commented lightly, stuffing his hands in his jeans’ pockets.

“About what?” Michael asked. He made his way back to the couch and sat, leaving Rich to follow along. Rich threw himself back on the couch, rubbing his eyes. 

“This ‘platonic soulmate’ crap Jake has been spouting.” Michael snorted loudly. 

“It’s such a load of bullshit,” Michael said automatically. It felt nice to actually be able to say what he wanted about it. To be able to call it out as nonsense. To not have to walk on eggshells, making sure Jeremy stayed happy and didn’t know how unhappy this was making him.

“I’ve looked it up,” Rich said, looking over at him, “extensively. There’s no such thing. There are literally no documentations of soulmates ever being platonic.”

“Like I said. Bullshit.”

“But, then, why?” Rich asked. He sounded so… defeated. It was weird, hearing such a sound come from someone as outspoken and confident as Rich. “Jake’s, like, as straight as they come. And Jeremy’s no better.” Michael couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that. “What?” 

“Considering the massive crush on Keanu Reeves Jeremy has had since we were, like, ten, there is no way that Jeremy is straight. He’ll figure it out sometime. It’s just— it’s just me he doesn’t want.” Okay. That hurt even worse than when he’d said it to his mom. But it was true. Michael was sure that if Jeremy's soulmate had been any other guy, he wouldn't have reacted so poorly. But he really didn't want to be with Michael, so— Michael stopped that train of thought. It would only make it hurt worse. But it kept going anyway. Jeremy didn't care if Michael was perfect for him. Jeremy didn't want him. Jeremy didn't want him. Jeremy— 

“Then he’s stupid,” Rich said strongly, effectively stopping Michael's spiraling thoughts. “He’s lucky to have someone like you. At least you notice his feelings.” Rich stared ahead at the black TV, absentmindedly picking at the fabric of the couch. Michael followed suit.

“I wish I could say that things will get better and they’ll get their heads out of their asses,” Michael said wryly, “but it doesn’t feel like that will ever happen.”

Rich was quiet. Michael refused to look at him, for fear of seeing someone as strong as Rich cry. He couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for Rich to deal with this all on his own for months. To have no one to talk to about it (Rich’s dad wasn’t exactly the kind of person you could talk to about feelings).

“You wanna play a game?” Michael asked after a few moments. Rich tried to subtly wipe his eyes and shrugged. “What do you wanna play?”

“Do you have GTA?” Rich asked. Michael made a face at him, which made Rich laugh.

“No, Rich, I don’t have GTA. The games I own are actually good.”

“Whatever, man. Just put on what you want, then.” Michael sifted through his games before settling on Galaga. Classic. Rich didn’t even comment when Michael handed him the controller, which was nice.

Rich sucked at Galaga, but that was okay. It felt different to play video games with someone who wasn’t Jeremy, but it wasn’t bad. Time seemed to fly by until Alina was knocking on the basement door, telling Michael that it was time for Rich to go home.

“It’s a school night,” she reminded him. Michael sighed and nodded.

“I can give you a ride,” he offered. He had no idea how Rich had gotten there, but it felt polite to offer. Rich agreed, so Michael got up and hunted down his hoodie. Sure, it was January, but he wasn’t gonna be out for very long. He’d be fine in just the sweatshirt.

They drove mostly in silence, but it wasn’t awkward. It was a clear night and Rich seemed to enjoy staring up at the few stars above.

Michael barely knew the way to Rich’s house, but he didn’t want to ask. He made a wrong turn, but Rich didn’t correct him, so he just fixed it on his own.

He pulled easily into Rich’s driveway, parking behind Rich’s dad’s SUV. Rich didn’t make a move to get out of the car.

“This was… nice,” Michael said, cringing a little at his word choice. Rich smiled a little, still looking sad.

“Yeah. It’s nice to have someone else in the same boat. Not that I’m glad you’re in the same boat, but you know?” Michael did know and he nodded. Rich sighed. “Would you mind if I came over some other time?”

“Yeah, man, come over whenever. Just text first and I’ll make sure we actually have snacks and shit to do.” 

“Got it. See you tomorrow.” Michael waited until Rich was inside before pulling away.

If you’d asked him a year ago, he would have laughed at the idea of ever being Rich Goranski’s friend. And yet, now here they were. Friends who actually had something in common! Who’d have thought that Jake and Jeremy being idiots would lead to something like this?

Michael backed out of the driveway slowly, making his drive home last longer than it needed to. Driving cleared his head, especially on cool nights with the window cracked. He couldn’t figure out why Jake wouldn’t want to be with Rich. It was clear that they were perfect together (so much so that the universe agreed), and yet Jake was clinging to some imaginary straight-ness? It just didn’t compute in Michael’s head.

None of this computed in Michael’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so two things:  
> 1\. this is shorter than usual and i'm sorry  
> 2\. i promise rich and michael's friendship won't be quite so mopey as the story goes on
> 
> i hope you enjoyed!! i would honestly love it if you left a comment or some kudos :p

**Author's Note:**

> i'm such a sucker for soulmate aus and there aren't nearly enough, so here's another one! and no, i couldn't wait until i finished my other fic to start this one. i have no self control.
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter and stick with the story!! if you liked it, maybe drop me a comment and some kudos??? please?


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